Why I'm depressed an constantly worried
I need some help :
1) Everyday for 3 months I pray for a sign ,a dream or a message from God from Allah the creator. I cry and beg every night but nothing not the slitest thing no sign no dream. I feel alone and begin to believe there is no creator.
2) Whenever I ask something which is unlikely from God it never happens but when I ask something likely it does does this mean it's chance. Since I was born every dua I've asked with all my heart that seemed hard failed , but when I ask for something tiny it happens so Is dua just chance . I don't care about all these miracles I hear from other people I beg God for help every night and never get any.
3) Another separate problem I have is that I'm tempted to visit Islamic sites but I fear to do it as I always get moved by the content I feel as if all these rebuttals are just excuses what if I'm lying to myself to comfort myslef.
4)Is God a trick of the mind which humans used to comfort themselves to shield themselves from reality?
Can someone with intelligence help me
.